I do it feel sometimes. And it feels heavy from the inside. It feels heavy to know that all this happiness is a mask for the masquerade you're attending to. But, how the stranger might be true, the truth still lies within you. Being happy or sad does not matter much. What matters is whether you make these sad or happy events a pivot to a better ahead. =)
ria
· 2 years ago
for some reason, i've been wanting to get red shoes lately. i haven't found the "right one" though. :) i do hope you find that something you're looking for Su Ann. you're one of my favorite people and would love to see you really, truly happy. :)
take care dear! and if you ever run out of places to visit, there's always my poor old country. hehe.
Miss Tacky
· 2 years ago
hi su ann! you're someone with tremendous potential to succeed in life and obviously you haven't yet fulfilled your potential cause of your age, the fact that you're still in school, experience and etc. that's probably why you're feeling an inherent sadness. all of these circumstances are evolving day by day and one day (soon!) they will converge at a precise point where you will feel completely happy and at ease with yourself. from that point onwards, it will be a breeze, trust me. cheers
ionStorm
· 2 years ago
how about God? ;)
sheon
· 2 years ago
a trip to somewhere new?...well.......dont we all need that?....sigh
susannah
· 2 years ago
what does upskirt mean??
yea.. i know what you mean by your insides throbbing with sadness.. =( i feel that way too and always having to mask sadness with a mask of happiness and cheer.. it's only like that this year? maybe its hormones or just a phase in life?? haha. hope we'll both be really truly happy soon!
Yappy
· 2 years ago
Hmmm.... somewhere new... Try Bali? Go for their SPA everyday, shopping, try out the seafood... or some other islands like Maldives. Maybe your feelings of sadness is caused by stress from SAT 2 and from other sources. It's good that you let it out, you can also talk about it to Martian and your friends. Sometimes I feel sad too and talking about it to my friends works for me. The solutions they gave sometimes help but the most important thing is to let it out. For the mean time, maybe you can put everything you listed above in a To Do list and try to cross it out one by one? :) Take care Su Ann and go get your flight ticket to somewhere now! :)
blue
· 2 years ago
hi pinky, I have been reading your blog recently, and your world inspires me even though I am not part of it. I envy you. Today, it just opened a window on how I may live my life to the fullest.. to taste, see, feel and share life. I think in some ways you are a role model to your friends who log in, to read your latest posting so they may be in your shoes for awhile, savouring life at its best. And the satisfying things are not thing, but emotions, love, happiness, joy which you share freely and openly. I think you are a great writer - you write without trying, and you put your heart into it. If I become a filmmaker one day, I ask your permission to make a movie about your life. It will be called Pinky - A Storybook Life. :) I think you
Jun
· 2 years ago
looks like u're not too tired to blog eh? ;> funny bout the red shoes, cos a fren of mine wears hers every time she feels blue... do u?
songjun
· 2 years ago
upskirting you isn't very hard to do u know :P HAHAHA
songjun
· 2 years ago
come visit me in uk la then u can meet pretty eyes ;) HAHA
Liz
· 2 years ago
hey pinkpau, i've been reading your blog for quite some time now, tho I hardly comment. Just wanted to say that your blog is really really inspiring. To many of your readers, you seem to be living a 'fairytale' life, but your writing is also really honest - you manage to describe your emotions really really well and are not afraid to show that you're just like any other normal girl out there... the occasional insecurities, sadness & confusion. :D Yet despite all of that, you still seem really optimistic and brave about everything.
blue
· 2 years ago
When you said you feel like a painting on the wall, you could also be the centre of attraction - big eyes, cute smile, long legs, fun-loving, witty, daring, eloquent, knowledgable, etc ... the whole package, because not all paintings make it to the wall.
Karyn
· 2 years ago
How sweet of him. You two are like a couple meant to be together. Lol.
fern
· 2 years ago
the card was just too sweet :D do make it a point to share your oreos with him today
Michael
· 2 years ago
when u gt martian, ur happy deep inside i think. love always overcome sorrow, does it?
Pet
· 2 years ago
you hit the spot with that one =)
wan siong
· 2 years ago
Hey, you guys are like overly praising her relationship with martian.. Kinda make me think that the defination for a perfect love would be best described with pinkpau and martian.. -_-" No offence ya su ann..
sieutheng
· 2 years ago
wei let's go for a trip together...! i need one badly too =(
jess
· 2 years ago
tot u hv a trip recently... pls bring me hahahhaa
reallybites
· 2 years ago
i like drunk ppl.
come visit me lah =)
ashleighhhh
· 2 years ago
haha i know that feeling. fresh laundry. never tried that one before.. my guitar and a foosball table works best to keep my mind off things. teehee.
lishun
· 2 years ago
you've already begun your search for that something and it's probably nearer than you think. just keep your eyes and ears and heart open!
btw that card is so schweet...i'm gonna go into a hyperglycaemic coma. wait. is that even possible? *googles* oh yeah it is. call myself a medical student. haha.
Artificially Timtam
· 2 years ago
i rikes them red shoes and sundresses and RED SHOES.
tze
· 2 years ago
er when she says 'talking about sex with tze' she doesnt mean this tze ok this tze is like the holiest person ever wtf
(eh we havent finished talking yet la)
paupau
· 2 years ago
your drunk stranger reminds me of a guy in the psychiatric ward of a hospital that told me that i belonged there as much as him ... haha.
it's funny how silly little things like cards can change the mood of a day
Kevin
· 2 years ago
Wehh, when you gonna help me handle my facebook hahah
prawn
· 2 years ago
hehehe.. i have the exact same card =D When ppl are drunk, they usually say the truth & do things that really means something. Maybe not all the time though =P
Shingo T
· 2 years ago
Better don't let my wife read this entry. She will expect alot more from an insensitive guy like me.
MichelleSY
· 2 years ago
LOL - how cute is your dad!
Between being his personal spell-checker and trying to hide all your gorgeous shoes from your mom, you must be a busy busy girl =)
And I'm ROTFL at "talking about sex with Tze wtf"
It's OK hon, we all have those days.
I think that some of us (myself included) lmust have been born with a hyper-attenuated sad gene that kicks in at the drop of a hat. Or the drop of a glass. Or the drop of a peanut-butter sandwich, peanut-butter side down, on the floor.
You get what I mean.
But hugs (even e-hugs) can make things a teensy-weensy bit better (so can a Martian and moving into the ultimate Martian pad!).
So here's one: *hug*
bulat
· 2 years ago
guess you are not alone *laughs*
pinkpau
· 2 years ago
michelle : that's really easier said than done
ria : it is SO hard to find the right pair of red shoes! and haha what a coincidence; i was just thinking of heading to cebu :P
miss tacky : the young age doesnt hold me back at all :) it's not a factor. but i will look forward to this happy precise point you speak of! i hope it comes soon. sigh.
ionstorm : God's not a little thing.. :)
sheon : yes we all do!
susannah : upskirt means peeking up a girl's skirt, be it from under a table or as she walks up stairs. hehe yes let's hope that happiness gets less elusive in time to come
yappy : no i went to bali early this year. i really wanna go somewhere i've never been! it would be a great combo of relaxation and excitement. yknow, you give really good advice :) sometimes i forget that i have friends and a great boyf to talk to, and i always end up bottling things inside. which sometimes is the cause of all this sadness. that to do list thing is an excellent idea :D :D
blue : thank you so much for your high praise :) sometimes it's the little things that really define how much the big things mean to us.
jun : i could never be too tired to blog.. haha! and ditto about the red shoes
songjun : what are you trying to imply!!! haha ya UK for spring/summer 2008!!!!
liz : people think i live a fairytale life? haha i wish that were true.. :) and thank you for noticing. i try my best to keep my blog as honest as it was the first day i started it :)
blue : no no no i said i feel like painting on a wall :P as in getting a brush and painting on it!
karyn : hahaha thank you thank you i think so too
fern : it's so funny that you say that, cos he just told me today that he ate 2 oreos in thinking about me. and he never eats cookies, or oreos for that matter! :D
michael : sometimes love is what causes the pain
pet : who? me? michael?
wan siong : why cant perfect love be defined by us! huh huh why not!
sieutheng : really??? okokokokok. when are your hols! or shall we do a weekend thing to perhentian or something
jess : haha okays but only if you bring me with you on your future trips
reallybites : ya ya then i can eat tau sar pneah!!!!
ashleighhh : guitar and foosball! haha that is so like a guy
lishun : i try, i really do :) hyperglaycemic.. that means too much sugar, right? people can go into a coma from that???
artificially : only if they're high heels right :P
tze : good good continue continue :P then i can be happy summore
paupau : someone from a psych ward said that to you??? HAHAHAHHHAHA POOR YOU
kevin : haha soon soon soon !!!!! how could i pass up something so exciting
prawn : yea this drunk guy was pretty sharp in all his inebriatedness..
shingo t : haha be forewarned; my boyfriend is pretty romantic in his surprises :P and i have a high tendency of blogging these things!
michellesy : thank you babe :) hugs are so therapeutic. *hugs bak
bulat : i dont understand!
ionStorm
· 2 years ago
oh...nono...I was referring to this...
"deep down inside i throb with sadness. sadness for something i long for, but will never get. no i dont actually know what that something is, though i wish i did so i could go out and look for it."
but anyways... :)
Michael
· 2 years ago
agree. pain caused by love can only be cured by time or love itself, i think.
foreverjas
· 2 years ago
nicely written. luv it more than i luv mcd!
lishun
· 2 years ago
yeah, they can. but it's nothing a shot of insulin can't take care of...haha. no la not so simple.
anyhoo hope you didn't fall asleep in the middle of all that boring medic showoff fact dishing out. err. lol.
JustAnotherTragedy
· 2 years ago
mmmm i miss having pisang gorenggggg! i think im gonna go grab myself some tomorrow!
blue
· 2 years ago
PinkPau you are a star. A posting about a fraction in the day of your life, and a mere minute into your mind and you are able to draw tens of comments. Friends anxiously login every few hours to read your latest posting and feedback. And you answer every single comment/feedback with a smile, which brings relief to their pain. Do you ever wonder how you've got such commanding power like that? I think I know....
Artificially Timtam
· 2 years ago
yup. only if they're REAL high heels :) so ur gonna deface martian's wall? can i paint too? :P
blue
· 2 years ago
....people are in love with love.
ben
· 2 years ago
have u too had sex yet? .. mayb thats wat u need su ann. =p
Michelle
· 2 years ago
Well, nothing is impossible really. =) Anyway, I hope you feel much better after receiving the card.
WristBandMan
· 2 years ago
the guy who says you are unhappy.... i think he just wants to poke your breasts...
Johanny
· 2 years ago
So cute of Martian to send you the card... even though he is a lot closer now :P I can't believe he still tries to upskirt you... ;) When are you coming to see me... that should be added to your list... hahahaha :P
tze
· 2 years ago
ionstorm: get over it la wtf not everything has to revolve around religion ok
Charlie
· 2 years ago
People who are polite to flyer-distributors are such a rarity la. : ( Even my parents, who are supposedly shining paragons of social propriety, don't even acknowledge their existence. I like it too when people are nice to them. After all they're only trying to do a good, honest job...
I really don't get how grocery shopping can make anyone happy though! : P
to tze: Thank you for taking the words right out of my mouth. ; )
hw
· 2 years ago
pinkpau .. love the way you can tell a story and put down your emotions and thoughts into words so well - a number of which we all can relate to somewhat i guess. I've been feeling really tired and lost within the insanity of reality and life recently as well. I'm in dire need of a vacation, which I am getting (though it's not really a vacation since I'm going over to the United States on a business tripbut nevertheless a break from the day-to-day monotony of being in KL and working from home).
Love reading your blog btw. If you feel like painting on a wall, you've definitely accomplished it, albeit on a blog-wall.
Speaking of goreng pisang, I love the one in Brickfields across the road from YMCA. They have the best goreng pisang (crispy, juicy and sweet) as well as nice fried 'nian gao' and delectable curry puffs. Think I'll go get some tomorrow.
All Comments
But, how the stranger might be true, the truth still lies within you.
Being happy or sad does not matter much.
What matters is whether you make these sad or happy events a pivot to a better ahead. =)
take care dear! and if you ever run out of places to visit, there's always my poor old country. hehe.
yea.. i know what you mean by your insides throbbing with sadness.. =( i feel that way too and always having to mask sadness with a mask of happiness and cheer.. it's only like that this year? maybe its hormones or just a phase in life?? haha. hope we'll both be really truly happy soon!
For the mean time, maybe you can put everything you listed above in a To Do list and try to cross it out one by one? :)
Take care Su Ann and go get your flight ticket to somewhere now! :)
I think you
i've been reading your blog for quite some time now, tho I hardly comment. Just wanted to say that your blog is really really inspiring. To many of your readers, you seem to be living a 'fairytale' life, but your writing is also really honest - you manage to describe your emotions really really well and are not afraid to show that you're just like any other normal girl out there... the occasional insecurities, sadness & confusion. :D
Yet despite all of that, you still seem really optimistic and brave about everything.
Kinda make me think that the defination for a perfect love would be best described with pinkpau and martian..
-_-"
No offence ya su ann..
come visit me lah =)
fresh laundry. never tried that one before..
my guitar and a foosball table works best to keep my mind off things. teehee.
btw that card is so schweet...i'm gonna go into a hyperglycaemic coma. wait. is that even possible? *googles* oh yeah it is. call myself a medical student. haha.
(eh we havent finished talking yet la)
it's funny how silly little things like cards can change the mood of a day
When ppl are drunk, they usually say the truth & do things that really means something. Maybe not all the time though =P
She will expect alot more from an insensitive guy like me.
Between being his personal spell-checker and trying to hide all your gorgeous shoes from your mom, you must be a busy busy girl =)
And I'm ROTFL at "talking about sex with Tze wtf"
It's OK hon, we all have those days.
I think that some of us (myself included) lmust have been born with a hyper-attenuated sad gene that kicks in at the drop of a hat. Or the drop of a glass. Or the drop of a peanut-butter sandwich, peanut-butter side down, on the floor.
You get what I mean.
But hugs (even e-hugs) can make things a teensy-weensy bit better (so can a Martian and moving into the ultimate Martian pad!).
So here's one: *hug*
ria : it is SO hard to find the right pair of red shoes! and haha what a coincidence; i was just thinking of heading to cebu :P
miss tacky : the young age doesnt hold me back at all :) it's not a factor. but i will look forward to this happy precise point you speak of! i hope it comes soon. sigh.
ionstorm : God's not a little thing.. :)
sheon : yes we all do!
susannah : upskirt means peeking up a girl's skirt, be it from under a table or as she walks up stairs. hehe yes let's hope that happiness gets less elusive in time to come
yappy : no i went to bali early this year. i really wanna go somewhere i've never been! it would be a great combo of relaxation and excitement. yknow, you give really good advice :) sometimes i forget that i have friends and a great boyf to talk to, and i always end up bottling things inside. which sometimes is the cause of all this sadness. that to do list thing is an excellent idea :D :D
blue : thank you so much for your high praise :) sometimes it's the little things that really define how much the big things mean to us.
jun : i could never be too tired to blog.. haha! and ditto about the red shoes
songjun : what are you trying to imply!!! haha ya UK for spring/summer 2008!!!!
liz : people think i live a fairytale life? haha i wish that were true.. :) and thank you for noticing. i try my best to keep my blog as honest as it was the first day i started it :)
blue : no no no i said i feel like painting on a wall :P as in getting a brush and painting on it!
karyn : hahaha thank you thank you i think so too
fern : it's so funny that you say that, cos he just told me today that he ate 2 oreos in thinking about me. and he never eats cookies, or oreos for that matter! :D
michael : sometimes love is what causes the pain
pet : who? me? michael?
wan siong : why cant perfect love be defined by us! huh huh why not!
sieutheng : really??? okokokokok. when are your hols! or shall we do a weekend thing to perhentian or something
jess : haha okays but only if you bring me with you on your future trips
reallybites : ya ya then i can eat tau sar pneah!!!!
ashleighhh : guitar and foosball! haha that is so like a guy
lishun : i try, i really do :) hyperglaycemic.. that means too much sugar, right? people can go into a coma from that???
artificially : only if they're high heels right :P
tze : good good continue continue :P then i can be happy summore
paupau : someone from a psych ward said that to you??? HAHAHAHHHAHA POOR YOU
kevin : haha soon soon soon !!!!! how could i pass up something so exciting
prawn : yea this drunk guy was pretty sharp in all his inebriatedness..
shingo t : haha be forewarned; my boyfriend is pretty romantic in his surprises :P and i have a high tendency of blogging these things!
michellesy : thank you babe :) hugs are so therapeutic. *hugs bak
bulat : i dont understand!
"deep down inside i throb with sadness. sadness for something i long for, but will never get. no i dont actually know what that something is, though i wish i did so i could go out and look for it."
but anyways... :)
anyhoo hope you didn't fall asleep in the middle of all that boring medic showoff fact dishing out. err. lol.
i think im gonna go grab myself some tomorrow!
so ur gonna deface martian's wall? can i paint too? :P
I really don't get how grocery shopping can make anyone happy though! : P
to tze: Thank you for taking the words right out of my mouth. ; )
Love reading your blog btw. If you feel like painting on a wall, you've definitely accomplished it, albeit on a blog-wall.
Speaking of goreng pisang, I love the one in Brickfields across the road from YMCA. They have the best goreng pisang (crispy, juicy and sweet) as well as nice fried 'nian gao' and delectable curry puffs. Think I'll go get some tomorrow.